The most dreaded moment came, it was till the point that the mountain piling was alr falling. and that was went our BRAVE BRAVE YJ and Si Lin decided to bring the issue out. Which i was very thankful for. I didnt expect it to turn out well, with a mind that i was going home with a "shouldnt have told u guys" kind of mindset. But all turned out well. which i was really OVER THE MOON for. ALOT of things went thru my mind. Although initially there wasnt really much. Cause it really reached the point whereby i didnt wanna rmb as I didnt wanna hurt us when i'd bring this up. When i said i cant recall, i really couldnt recall. LOL.

When we talked abt the Si Lin and me issue, i really didnt wanna brg it up cause i srsly dont wanna feel hurt again... It was.. nvm.. but then ... since u guys insist, just say lo. Didnt really wan u all to hear what im saying actually. and when u all plan for this session, i was really hoping for me to be in ur discussion... which i wasnt... but i can see where u girls are coming from luh... cause i was involved? i was kinda expecting one of u to pull me in into the discussion like how we used to solve probs everytime we face any, be it friendship probs or what. But this brings me back to the "BK" incident lo. which i can understand cause i also discussed with yj first before breaking it to ah poh... so... okay that aside, I didnt really wan poh to find out abt the inferiority issue cause i fear that u'd back out cause of me. Like what naz did to haikal, by backing out to let haikal perform. So, like i said, i took another way instd lo... like what i told u, now im directly helping the kids. Which i was sad cause in the past, we planned tgt and carried it out tgt. But gotta understand lo, u all have ur commitments and all. When poh first said that sentence, i expected myself to accept that. But till now, i still cant... Give me more time bah... Let it downgrade to the form of support to be virtual-wise... Poh, there was a reason why i said i hate ur virtual personality too, cause i really wanted to talk to u in person... okay let us not get there... I know that u are always there for me...and im still really glad that we had this talk today. So im gonna write this despite the fact that i have maths test tmr... :XX

So now to indiv pieces, I'd like to talk to naz first, so here's to u: I am really happy that you've been accepting me and all. But accepting without listening doesnt do anything at all. Okay nt here to shoot u or whatsoever, but im glad that you've been quietly trying to accept my methods. And i've been trying to accept urs too. Btw, my kind of comments were all along too indirect and since u wont listen, i resorted to being harsh when it comes to talking to u. I know i'ts the wrong method, but i really couldnt figure anything else besides this. It's like u helping haikal by using YCKSS. Pardon me for doing so... really... also, all along, I know ur learning style is really literally seat back and observe. I've told the other two girls before abt this. That ur learning style is like that. Dont believe can ask them :) And yes. Thank you sooo much for telling me what are my weakness in terms of guiding. And im really happy that u are willing to put our differences aside despite our conflicts and disputes to specially make trips down to meet us. We might have our low times, but i really do enjoy ur presence in any meetings. I'd try to work on my weakness and es, improve on our working relationship and most importantly, our friendship. Which i feel would be really wasted if it really went down. You have always been a great friend, and i really learn alot of things from u if u havent known... I've been learning how u can get soooo close to the yck kids. And i am really glad that happened. I have one less thing to worry about. And if i really get critical on things, which i know will happen often, please do tell me. I believe i've been asking u to tell/ask me things right?? cause since UAC, i've been trying to work on my skills of "asking questions", which i didnt really apply cause i only did that to Erra and the YCKSS unit camp planning comm if u realised, when u said "the meetings draggy cause the questions i ask are open-ended?" yea... kinda thing. All in all, I really do appreciate ur presence.

Now onto YJ CHEN!! : ONE SENTENCE VERY IMPORTANT!! DONT THINK OF URSELF AS BEING THE EXTRA!! omg... i really couldnt understand u when u said this sentence. Imagine what would become of us if u and i didnt plan what to say to si lin, would i have the courage to bring up to si lin? imagine u didnt plan with si lin for today, would either of u have the courage to bring this up? PLEASE la yj. slap ur face then u know. HAHAHAHHAS! FYI, if u are wondering whether u've been a good senior, which u've always been wondering i believe. I WANT U TO KNOW THAT U AREEEEE!! okayy?! so trust me, u are. If u realise, i seldom praise ppl too.. i mean.. u know la. hahhas and when i praise, it really is TRUE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BELIEVE MEEEE :D and i really love u for being there for either of us whenever we need each other. You've always been there. Provided solutions from ur "emotional" personality, which i've always been lacking of!! U are the one of the few ppl i wouldnt mind wasting time with. SRSLY. It's really been very fun with u ard. Besides, u always provide the solutions for me and ah poh, planning bdae surprise for ah poh with me. I wont have all these sides of me without u i tell u. It was only till knowing u guys then i start buying presents. If not, i dont do it. So guess how big a difference u made in my life~! :D

To Si lin: I AM SO THANKFUL !! guess what, the first time i really really cried was infront of PPG, u guys really opened up this side of me... which wouldnt be opened if not for u all, and it really helped me in doing things now. Tears rolled down immediately after u went up in the lift. Im sorry but i cant help but hold back my tears so that u wont feel anymore extra feelings which u dont need to. :) But yea... I know u always cant be physically there for me, but like i said, i really nd time. i thought i would be able to adapt by now, but apparently not yet... but the emphasis is on "YET" ah. so dont worry, i believe i'd be able to do so. And im really sorry that i didnt support u during the "BK" time cause i figured,u are gonna work ur way out. u know how to at least. And u know, im not the kind of person who digs things out from ppl, cause i know they''d tell me if they want to. I'm really really sorry.. Also for not telling u my thoughts, which u say is abstract and have been trying very hard to understand. Apologies... and the part abt me being alone? I didn't really wanna tell u cause i really wanna try forcing myself to adapt being alone, so u wont be hurt if i told u, cause by then, i would've alr adapted. But still, i really really appreciate every every every every every moment when u're ard. If u realise, whenever u jio me out, i'd really do my best to make it for u. cause i know we cant meet often anw... so... yea... But i am really happy that i have my girls with me for me whenever i need them, although i approached zul more la. cause he's like more reachable :X

To Zul: Sorry for troubling u in pulling u in alot of mess which u shdnt need to be into, and being there for the girls when they cant reach me or talk to me. And yes, providing me the support when i really needed it despite me wanting to give up and all... kinda sick of that shit actually... but yea... Thank you. :D A random thought, recall how many thank yous i shd've said to u. I feel guilty for that man... :(

All in all, I'm really glad this issue didnt end at a "We don't wanna talk abt it anymore" kind of tone. Instead, it's a "We dont really have to talk abt it anymore."

With Love.